K. St. Croix

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:21:19 GMT

i am not mad at ANYONE.
i do not hate ANYONE.
people need to get their stories straight
before they start spreading lies.

there's so much fucking drama in the "group" right now.
it's bullshit.
i shouldn't even be INVOLVED in it.

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:54:08 GMT

so, this journal is now

you can comment if you want to be my friend, but i highly doubt i'll add you unless i have a reason for you to read my journal.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:28:49 GMT

well today wasn't so bad.
a couple people were crying in the moring, but after first, it was like a normal day. i guess it wasn't as bad as george's death because people saw it coming. mike's death was inevitable. but george's came as a shock, nobody knew it was going to happen. there's no doubt that people were saddened by mike's passing, but it definately wasn't a shock.

i don't got much else to talk about.
toodles.

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 07:29:02 GMT

well. it's like, 3.22am. i had a good night. =] went and saw juno with holley and patrick. it was a sweet movie. sad. and funny. xD

i just spent the past like, hour listening to nightwish and this is what i conjured. =D

it might be too dark to see, but it's not for me. so. ahaa.

i'm so not tired. thank god people are on, 'cause i am so bored.
well. i ain't got much to write about.

EDIT - mike fitz died yesterday at 2.40am or something after his.. seventh? month battle with an inoperable brain tumor. i, personally, fucking hated the kid, he was an asshole to me and many other kids. i thought he was a bully. but i don't think he deserved to die like that. he was only sixteen or seventeen. poor kid. well, rip man.
monday is going to fail. everyone is going to be crying and sad and people's emotions tend to rub off on me. fuck i hate death.

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:00:54 GMT

so the chances of me actually graduating on time are like, slim to none. if my mom won't let me go to summer school, then i have to take an online math course which is apparently very difficult. and if i fail it (which i most likely will), i won't graduate with my class. even if i do pass it, i still need to pass all my other courses. but if i go to summer school, i'll have one credit to fall back on. ughhhh, school is so frustrating. DDD:
i'm worried i won't pass with all my friends and i'll be left behind all alone. and that would fail horribly. this semester, i AM going to try though. =] i don't want to be the only one left behinnnndd!

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:25:42 GMT

lulz lulz lulz. i am a huge failure.

english - 76%
math - 53%
cul tech - 54%
early childhood services - 92%

mother is shitting bricks. haha, i'm sure we can build a new house soon.

so i seriously don't know what to do with another day like today. it was awkward and terrible and i just wanted to break down and cry in the middle of my classes. i wish he would just fucking tell me that he loathes my fucking guts and get it over with.
if i have to go through another lunch like that, then i am never going back to school again. imagine a huge gathering of screaming, annoying fucking emo kids in a small fucking place, two or three of which you HATE with a passion and one who you're in the midst of a fight with and can't even look at. it was the most dumbest shit i've ever encountered. so i played solitaire and blasted myself with dragonforce for a good half hour, trying to drown out their loud squeals and laughter. fuck.

i'll write more later.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:06:05 GMT

bullshit. bullshit. bullshit.
should just tell him i don't fucking care anymore.

ajdhsakjh

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:09:13 GMT

thank you for the reality check.
you know who you are.
i really mean that.

i'm filled with depression again.
today was a terrible day.
i haven't slept in a long time.
i'm sick and feeling miserable.
too many fights. too much drama.
all in one day. haha.
i've never wanted to go back to my
old ways so much in the past year.
i don't even know what i'm doing
anymore, why i'm trying. nothing's
going to change. i'm just going to
return to my angsty, self-centered
self once he leaves. i am trying my
best to change for the better, for
him. but i can't.

i have nothing else to say. other
than i don't know what the hell i'm
trying to accomplish.

yrewgds

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:14:54 GMT

i do this every time.
some shit always happens.
and i always ruin it.
i can't hold on.

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 07:37:46 GMT

why do i feel like this?
my life is the best it's been in years.
so why the fuck am i trying to ruin it?

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:22:49 GMT

titties.
it's 4:23 am
and i am dead tired.
but i plan to pull an all nighter.
i am writing this
through Patrick's computer. =]
hah. don't ask, we are very bored.

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:44:54 GMT

i think i'm done with the world.

rfyykteraygsr

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:43:40 GMT

i'm so so so tired of trying to make my life bearable.
i'm so tempted just to drop out of school
drop all my friends
become a crack addict
and die slowly in my basement.

ttryisrue

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 21:32:52 GMT

i really like him..

totyiruhdfsg

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:20:00 GMT

why do people continue to torture me with their
BULLSHIT?

dsfjdkjd

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 02:59:10 GMT

i fail.

horribly.

sfjfgkfshksft

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 20:14:22 GMT

i am currently in the process of convincing my parents to buy me a horse. and dad doesn't seem to be against it. so that's a good sign. he's usually the first one to say no.
=]

fkidfidtirsd

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:29:38 GMT

do you know what i fucking hate more then nearly anything else in the world?
when people tell me i AM going to fall in love.
i fucking hate it. more then anyone will ever know.
i'm not going to fall in love. nobody is going to fall in love with me. i've been waiting a very long time for someone to even ask me out. and it has yet to happen. i will bet almost anything i will be the next forty year old virgin. no joke. everyone who has ever told me "you'll have someone eventually" is either skinny, pretty or has a boyfriend or any combination of the three. so they need to keep their fucking mouths shut for once and let me deal with this shit without their fake comments.
everyone knows deep down they're lying to me.
everyone knows deep down i will NEVER love or be loved.

asrjkeahdf

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 16:32:59 GMT

hahahah. i offically don't mind my classes.
i had my first dayy of grade eleven today and i admit, it doesn't seem so bad.

pd 1 - english 112 - mr. hull
pd 2 - math 112 - mrs. o'connor
pd 3 & 4 - cul tech 110/120 - mr. doyle
pd 5 - early child services 110 - mrs. hatheway

mr. hull seems nice enough. he's interesting. he's like, a hippy man. xD he writes novels and such. i'm not too pleased about that class though. the people in it are fucking assholes.
mrs. o'connor is a nub. she is a nubcake. god, i want to kill her. she's a bitch. well, not to me, but she has the aura of bitch.
mr. doyle is cool shit. he's utterly hilarious. the two things i hate about that class, TWO certain people are in it, and i have to take out my lip piercing/eyebrow piercing. which i can't. o-o so i have to put tape over them. but, cul tech sounds really fun and it takes up two periods. which is sweet. also, sometimes i get to miss pds one and two. hell yea, only two classes in a day. :P
mrs. hatheway is like, the nicest teacher everrrr. she's super nice. now i know why everyone likes her so much. =]

so yes, my classes are good. i just don't like the people in them. =]

durdjfjdgj

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:10:34 GMT

i hate my father.

shhdfhd

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 02:52:54 GMT

she always manages to steal everybody away from me.

rujsdfh

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 19:43:14 GMT

hahahaha
so, my parents found out i smoke pot. they found an old pop-bottle bong that i threw away in the woods. they were bound to find out some day, i only made it COMPLETELY obvious. i've been around them while i was high like, three times. i even said to my mom one time, "i have to go uhh.. off stairs to get kim's phone". xDD they must be utterly dense if it took them this long to find out. surprisingly, they did nothing. they confronted me, i didn't deny it. i just kinda shrugged. and they left it at that.
i'm sooo damn glad i didn't get grounded.

adfhsdfhsfgdh

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 22:59:34 GMT

why can't drama just go away for at least a month? does it have to stalk me? i wish there was a way i could just leave and go somewhere where drama does not exist. but there's no such place.

jxxdjfd

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:05:08 GMT

sooo, i feel better. but not much. i can't even think about the past few days without getting terribly angry or sad. i'm still pretty pissed at one of the people, but now me and "the boy" are acting as though nothing has happened, thank god. but i can't even think about the other person without wanting to scream. last time i fucking trust her with anything. i haven't even talked to her in the past three days. good. i have a habit of avoiding the problem. yea, it doesn't make it any better, but at least it keeps the person's mouth shut and me happy. =]
he said he understood why i would do that (the thing my friend told him), which i am so glad about. i still feel really bad, i feel angry at myself. but at the same time, i know it's the truth. well, not fully. i could never forget him. he's amazing, the first guy to like me for who i am. he's helped me through some really rough times, when CERTAIN PEOPLE weren't there for me or wouldn't listen.
am i hallucinating? i keep seeing shit like, flying in the corner of my eye. i thought my dog was beside me and when i looked, nothing was there. then i saw something in my window, and now there's nothing there. jesus christ, talk about creepy.
well. summer's almost over. i have my hair appointment this friday. still don't know what i want done. colors, i know that. frex is comning soon too. =D i hope this school year isn't full a stupid fucking pointless fights and drama. if it is.. well i can't be held responsible if i drop out or something. allll my friends are hanging out with a certain person that i can't stand. so, looks like it'll be just me for a little while. i don't care though, i pulled it off for a month in grade 9. i hope my teachers aren't boring jackasses either. then maybe i'll actually go to school for once.
well. i'm off to find something productive to do.

xxjhdsjdk

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 21:35:37 GMT

that's it.
i ruined it. he hates me now.
he said he doesn't, but i don't know who i can trust anymore. my best friend betrayed me. i know deep down he loathes me with all his heart.
why the hell do i bother anymore.
i always end up fucking everything up.